Perpetual Dissatisfaction: Five Things 4/15/12

Aaaand its time once again for another "Five Things". That's five of the weird, absurd and sometimes just downright ignorant or mean thoughts and observations that pop into my head. Enjoy!

1) Ok, so you know how the middle lane is the Fire Lane when you're driving? Well am I the only one that reads the actual words on the street as "Lane Fire"? I mean yeah I get it, its written so that you read each word as it comes at you, but at least on this part of the planet, when we read, we go top to bottom, left to right. Anyone else do this or is this just another one of those "no Joe, its just you" things?

Lane Fire is the only way I can see this

2) Know what I hate? When you're standing at a bar, and it doesn't have one of those footrest things running across the bottom. Know what I hate even more, when you forget its not there and go to rest your foot on it, and end up stepping down hard and look like a dick.

3) Know what else I hate? When you're watching a movie that's supposed to take place in a cold climate, and none of the characters have visible breath. I first noticed this in the Golden Child, when Eddie Murphy is roaming the streets of Kathmandu, wrapped in a parka and you can't see his breath when he's talking to Keye. But since I noticed it in that movie, I see it all time now. The characters will be standing there, bundled up, shivering, snow all over the place and there's not a sign of their breath while they're talking. It takes me right out of the movie. And now that I've pointed it out, hopefully it will do the same for you. Because misery loves company.

Yeah I know its probably cheaper and easier than a cold location shoot, but add that shit in post!

4) Know what ELSE I hate? (ooh a theme!) when you're out at the club and a group of girls will bust out some dancing school routine when a certain song comes on. I got news for you girls; the people who actually know you in your life hated having to go to your Joe Stanford recital, nobody in the club wants to see your hip-hop routine. You know each other, we get it.

5) But, you know what I DON'T hate? Kate Upton and her big, fat, wonderful boobs.