Thursday, November 17, 2011

10 of Joey's Favorite 80's Songs (In No Particular Order)

Hey kids, I'm kinda bored outta my skull so I thought I'd make a list of my favorite songs from my favorite decade, and share it with you all... with video evidence - video evidence through the magic of the YouTubes! Anyway, the criteria for this list are as follows; No Michael Jackson, no Madonna. They were way too popular for this list, and at least in my case, I could make a list of just my top ten MJ songs, easily, so they're out. This list is much deeper and more ecclectic than that, and its meant to show that I'm not just some pop music hack who hears "Come On Eileen" while out at some shitty bar and thinks that means I know and love 80's songs. I'm a connoisseur dammit! (also no Madonna because I'm heterosexual). This isn't really my top ten, its just ten 80's songs I really like. Lately all I listen to is my 80's list on my iPod and at last count, there's 923 songs!  I'll also try to share a little memory, or at least tell what the song means to me and why it made the list. So check 'em out, in no particular order, after the jump, it'll be fun. 80's!!

#10) Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money: I have a very particular, very detailed memory of this 1986 hit. I was seven years old, and we were in my grandparents yard on a summer saturday afternoon, sitting around the old, round wooden table with the umbrella up. I'm pretty sure we were barbequing that day but I could be wrong (usually cold cuts from Rag Time or, if we were really lucky, sauce and italian bread was what was for lunch on Saturday's by Nanny Grace and Grampa Joe's). Now those of you paying attention to the details of my life I so casually reveal on my blog will be wondering what toy I got that saturday on the weekly trip with Grampa to the toy store, and the answer would be the Play-Doh fun factory. Anyway, "Take Me Home Tonight" was on the radio when we went to the store, and that day in the yard, my Uncle Joe kepts singing the hook over and over again (just the "listen honey just like Ronnie said..." part) as I sat there in the yard playing with my Play-Doh (which was a toy I wasn't supposed to have, at least not at home, because my living room was carpeted and my mom was a Nazi). Anyway, I still love this song and will often listen to it before going out, even now, you know to get all pumped up... anyway, take it away Mr. Money...

9) "Out of Touch" - Hall and Oates: No particular reason or memory attached to this 1984 classic (although I do have vague, non-descript memories of being in the back seat of my mom's car while it was on the radio). It's just a good fuckin song, and I likes it!

8) "You're the Best Around" - Joe Esposito: Of all the musical montages in all the 80's movies "You're the Best Around" from the Karate Kid is definitely my favorite (narrowly edging out Hearts on Fire from Rocky IV). I had a shitty copy of the Karate Kid recorded off HBO that me and my brother watched over, and over, and over and over. I'm serious, we played it constantly, it was retarded. The great thing about that tape? It had three of 4 episodes of Sidekicks starring Gil Gerrard and Ernie Reyes Jr., at the end of it.


Hey did you know that according to the Wikipedia, this song was turned down for Rocky III, losing out to "Eye of the Tiger" and also turned down for a montage sequence in Footloose. Anyway, this song comes on and someone's getting their leg swept. Do you have a problem with that?

#7) "High on You" by Survivor: Another song I remember from cruising around in the backseat of my mom's car in 1984. And by cruising around I mean standing up, no seat belt, in the back seat. Ah the days when we weren't so overly concerned with safety and all that bullshit. Anyway, I don't particularly know why, but I like this song and can often be heard singing it at the top of lungs while crusing around in the front seat of my car now. Or I could be if I didn't only do that when I'm alone.

#6) "Mr. Telephone Man" by New Edition: This song is on here because it was one of the first two singles I ever owned. On 45. For those of you youngsters out there who don't know, music used to come on these cicular vinyl discs called records... you know those things you see some DJ's use. A 45 was a small version of those things the DJ mixes and scratches with (the 45 meant it spun around the turntable 45 times per minute).  I used to play them on my Fisher Price record player.


Funny story about that record player. For Christmas in 1984, my mom got me a present. As opposed to all the stuff Santa brought me, this record player was from my mom. She bought it, wrapped it, and put it under the tree with all the other meaningless because they weren't for me presents. Why she decided to  make a distinction that year, I don't know. Maybe she was tired of Santa getting all the credit? Either way, it took me all of 8 seconds before I snuck and unwrapped the whole side of the gift very carefully so I could see what it was and then re-wrapped it. Man did my mom get mad when she found out (apparantly 5 year old Joey didn't re-wrap it all that well).

#5) "Just Got Paid" by Johnny Kemp: This 1988 was the first song that ever got me thinking I wanted to go out and party. I was in 4th grade, and it would be YEARS before I was able to start living it up the way this song made me want to.

#4) "Naughty Girls Need Love Too": This song is on the list for one very simple reason. Samantha Fox was the first woman that gave me a boner and I knew it meant I wanted to have sex with her, even though I didn't really know what "I wanted to have sex with her" meant. I was in 4th grade, and it would be YEARS before I was able to start living it up the way this song made me want to.

#3) "For The Longest Time" by Billy Joel: Ok, taking the stories on this list from skeevy and perverted back to endearing and cute, we have this really nice song from the spring of 1984. I was five years old, and my bed time was 7:30, right after the Muppet Show. Now, that was fine in the winter, but in the summer there were still hours of day light left and in 1984 I was old enough to bargain. To five year old Joey, bargaining meant getting to sleep in my parents bed and keeping the radio on. I specifically remember laying there and singing this song trying to ignore the fact that it was bright as day outside the window.

#2) "There'll Be Sad Songs" by Billy Ocean: Ok, truth be told, every Billy Ocean that charted during the 80's could go on this list because seriously, dude is the man and I love them all. "Carribean Queen", "Suddenly", "Love Zone", "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car", all of them . I chose this song for the list because the lyrics are just great and Billy is unquestionably the smoothest motherfucker out there. No joke, Billy Ocean was like my "how to be smooth" role model growing up. I wish I was even a tenth as smooth as Billy. I'd be swimming in chicks. Billy Ocean or Lando Calrissean. Either one, man. Just swimmin' in women.

#1 "Brass Monkey" by The Beastie Boys: Ok, so "Liscened To Ill" was the first cassette album I ever owned and in reality, I only listen to it straight through. Seriously, when the 923 80's songs I play on random hits a song from this album, I take the random off and play it the rest of the way through, because I just can't not. I picked Brass Monkey because this really is a great party song. Just like "Take Me Home Tonight" I use "Brass Monkey" to get me all pumped up before going out on the weekends (only, then I have to listen to "Slow and Low" and "Time to Get Ill" after it... BECAUSE THEY COME NEXT!). I have yet to try Brass Monkey, and don't even know what kind of liquor it is, but I'm gonna go on record and say we should try it sometime. Anyway, here it is... "we got the bottle, you got the cup, come on everybody let's get ffffffffffff...." Love that line.

Seriously, just swimmin' in women...


  1. Excellent list! Brought back some memories of my own too.

  2. Great great list!

    Excellent write-up!

  3. This is great!!! Billy Ocean is a bad motherfucker for sure...