Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Internet Memes and Human Stupidity

I've got a real love-hate thing going with all the memes going around the Internet that we see on a daily basis. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, wikipedia defines meme as "an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture". Internet memes are ideas and behaviors that (obviously) spread around the internet, usually through social media. Sometimes it seems like Facebook and Twitter exist solely to perpetuate the spread of these things... That stupid dancing baby; the Nigerian money scam; Lolcatz; "Who's Responsible This?"; Condecending Wonka. All of these things are internet memes that you may or may not know, but that have been spread like wildfire across web pretty much since the mid 90's when  people started making webpages with their Angelfire accounts. The best internet memes are funny. The worst ones are spread by people who THINK they're funny. This is where my love-hate relationship comes in.

Now if you know me, you know my sense of humor skews a little more... evil than mainstream comedy.  I like brutal humor. The more vicious, awkward or snarky, the better. I don't like sanitized comedy at all. To me, shows like "Two and Half Men" and "Big Bang Theory" are not funny. Not only are they not funny, but they make me angry they're so not funny. No seriously, there's nothing funny about either one of those shows. Objectively. And if you find yourself laughing at either of them, stop. You look like a fool.

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, memes. So when it comes to internet memes, my instinct is to throw a hate blanket over all of them and call it a day. The problem is some of them genuinely make me laugh despite my best efforts to resist. To me, "Who's Responsible This?" was hilarious, and I legitimately could look at different scenarios of that jerkoff telling people "You Didn't Build That" forever. Hell, I've actually been trying to hate those eCards for awhile now, but just when I'm ready to proclaim them played out, another one pops up that just makes me crack up. My point is, these things tend to be hit or miss, and they all have varying shelf lives.  
One meme however, has irritated the shit out of me since the minute it popped up and makes me want to physically assault people around me everytime I see it. No, I'm not talking about the countless dummies out there misquoting (or falsely attributing quotes) to Marylin Monroe or Ghandi. Sure, that's pretty annoying, but what I'm talking about are those "that awkward moment when..." posts you'll see on people's Facebook or Twitter statuses. Because as it  turns out, no one seems to know what the fuck the word awkward actually means.
"That awkward moment when you want cookies but have no milk"; "That awkward moment when it starts raining but you left your umbrella home"; "That awkward moment when you have no cell phone service but really need to text your friend";  "That awkward moment when you want Equal for your tea but they only have Sweet N Low"; "That awkward moment when you go to the zoo to see the penguins but the penguin house is closed for rennovations"; "That awkward moment when you go to take a bite of your food, but its too hot so you have to wait a little bit";  "That awkward moment when you step in a puddle and your sock gets a little wet".
It's even more enraging when its not only not awkward, but its not even a situaton anyone in their right mind could relate to: "That awkward moment when you go to spread peanut butter on your corn flakes but realize its actually almond butter".
In the sense that its used in the meme, awkward essentially means embarassing. A humiliating situation. One where you get that "douche chill" feeling, usually in front of people. And its implied that it's something we've all done, or could imagine ourselves doing. "That awkward moment when you realize that guy you're waving to wasn't waving to you, but the person behind you". See how that works? THAT'S awkward. "That awkward moment when you realize you're out of cream cheese" NOT AWKWARD!
I Google Image searched "That awkward moment" and here's a bunch of pictures that someone went through the trouble to create, and they're all completely incorrect!
Weird. And embarassing for other reasons, but not awkward.
Pathetic, and again embarassing for other reasons, but also not awkward.
This is just "the moment you know you're fucked." There's nothing awkward about it.
Yes Kristen Stewart is creepy and frightening, but again NOT AWKWARD. But if you got caught by your boss while you were trying to fuck that doll? Now THAT'S awkward!
NO. Being a fucking retard with bad priorities doesn't make you awkard. It makes you a fucking retard with bad priorities
OH WHAT THE FUCK NOW? You're just typing words at random right?
 So, in closing, if you do this, CUT IT THE FUCK OUT. If you see someone else do it, tell them to CUT IT THE FUCK OUT! You people are ruining the internet.


  1. I've never seen these "awkward moment" things... but you are correct and justified in your annoyance.

  2. Quit internet memes, it's for your own good.

  3. I hate 90% of internet memes. But at least 90% of people aren't very funny, so whuddya expect?

  4. Internet memes were funny. Back when they were new. But now, they're overused and tired. Anytime someone wants to say something they rush to find what meme they could attach it to. It's retarded, and it makes Reddit suck.

    Much like the general concept of everyone wanting to put random sayings in images with neat fonts. It was cool the first dozen and a half times we saw it. After that, lame.

    tl;dr: stop using images as your lazy ass way of communicating you illiterate farktards!

  5. much subjective
    many opinion

  6. That awkward moment when you -really- need to pee but your depends are already swollen to their capacity!